Well, this week has been an interesting one...I managed to sell the table, only to find out that it was worth way more than I sold it for. Oh well...I got it sold and that's what I'm most concerned about. I finally got into my storage unit, after 2 days of complaining about having a lock on it, only to find that whomever had lived in my apartment before me left a bunch of their junk in the storage unit. After it taking me two days to clear it all out, I ended up with some pretty cool stuff that I can use. I found some video games that I was able to sell (for way less than they were worth, but I needed the money) and between what I already had, selling the table, and the video games...I ended up with just enough to buy my train ticket for next week. Now all I have to do is come up with the money for Ali's train ticket and gas money for my brother that I'll be staying with while I'm out there. That's about another $75-$100. Oi! I've had two people, now, email me about the washer and dryer...yet neither want to email me back about when they want to come see them. This is frustrating. If I could just sell those two items...
I finally got to talk to Ali after ten days of not hearing from her...I miss her so much. It's getting hard to talk to her and not cry. I looked in my notebook, and so far I've literally only spoke with her for the equivilence of one week since she's been gone...and she's been gone for going on four weeks. By the time the court date comes up, it'll of been a month since I've seen her. This is...*sigh* pissing me off, and I hate being angry.
I tried to work on Ali's room, by myself earlier this week, and ended up getting upset and pissed...to the point of throwing things down the stairs. I ended up in complete tears, I was ready to hang myself...I couldn't take it anymore. Its still hard. I've been trying to stay in the "right frame of mind" but it's hard to do. I'm resisting cutting or any type of SI behavior. With always having that on the back of my mind and having to remember that even though the temptation is there, I can't act on it. The one thing that keeps me going is the fact that I love my daughter, and I know she loves me as well...I just have to remember that at the very least.
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