So, I've been doing a lot of discussions with God because of the fact that emotionally I've been feeling like my life has been spinning out of control. It's been really hard on me, lately, emotionally...and I've no clue how to keep myself pulled together. I've been putting up this facade for so long I'm not sure how much longer I can continue doing it. I've had several occasions that I've had to walk out of my class for no apparent reason. I'm not used to actually crying, I don't like it. God keeps telling me that it's something that I need to do in order to "get better." Personally I think He's nuts...but again, my personal opinion. My doctor here on campus referred me to a psychiatrist after me making it quite clear that I don't like psychiatrists. I was praying one night to please not make me go to the psychiatrist to make it all a mistake, the next day I get a call to make an intake appointment...REALLY NOW!?!?!? God's getting this sick sense of humor with me. Well, at least he hasn't thrown me down any stairs lately :) I guess it's because I'm actually listening to Him now.
About a week ago I was praying about my schooling, because I was having trouble keeping up with all my classes...then I suddenly heard this deep laugh...and then He told me that I'm not done yet and that I've got a much further way to go before I'm done...so I told Him that I knew that I have about 7 years before I finish my Masters degree. Next thing I knew it he continued to laugh...and He said "No you don't"...and then He got quiet. I look forward to see what He's go planned for me. Lately it's been quit interesting...good interesting.
Today has been a good day for me, which is one of those rare things for me...especially lately. I'm just glad to have a good day and feel, slightly, under control of my emotions. I feel good. I've been able to work on not only my assignments that are due tomorrow, but my ones that are due on Thursday as well. *Sigh* I hope the rest of my week goes this well.
"God loves me for who and what I am, and I am important to Him."
I love me for who and what I am regardless of what others say!!!
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