Sadness

Today sucked! That and people have not freakin' manners at this school. So, as part of an experiment in one of my Psych classes...I spent the week, each class switching where I sat to see if it mattered where I sat. To see if the seat next to me continued to be one of the last or even the last seat in the class to be filled. Next we're going to test a theory to see if it matters how I dress, and see it continues...so next week...I have to dress "straight." Only problem...I'm not sure if I own enough clothes to pull that off. We'll see. Then we're going to do kind of a presentation. My professor said that he wouldn't do it if I didn't okay it. I'm actually kinda' looking forward to it. If I can just live through the torment that I get each class period. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't almost all of my classes that are like that. I try SO hard not to let it get to me...but some days that are harder than others. I manage to "keep it together" until I get home. This entire week, the instant I walk through the door and then break down into tears. I don't know how I manage to make it through the day feeling the way I do...and putting up with the harassment from entire classes the way I do. I have a therapist appointment tomorrow, I may see if she can write me a note for my two classes...I don't think I can handle going to class tomorrow. I feel like I'm about to have a complete mental breakdown. My appointment is just before my first class of the day. I've gone through so much stress this week...I don't think I can handle much more this week...I've never gone through a week like this. I need a break. I know that God loves me for who and what I am...but the way these "Christian" students act around me and treat me often makes me wonder. I know that "they're human" but a bunch of the students in one of my Psych classes are theology majors, they treat me the worst....*sigh* I feel like I'm mentally spinning out of control just waiting to hit bottom and completely snap.