Today ended up being what seemed to be an extremely LONG day. For starters...I had no desire to get out of bed, let alone go to class. I guess you could say I had a "fuck it all" type of day. Though I did manage to finish up my Personal History Paper...which is a good portion of my grade, and am hoping that I get a good grade on, I won't find out until next week. On top of that I have to turn in my final draft of my English paper tomorrow, I'm not sure if my English teacher likes me or not. Last paper she had us do, I made all the revisions that she noted and still didn't get a perfect score on the friggin paper. Again, I've made all the revisions requested on this friggin paper, and we'll see what grade she gives me. I love to write, and I'm good at it...I know that I tend to fuck up with punctuation...but that's no reason to be so hard on me on my grade. Shiesh!!!
Anyhow...other then having to turn in my paper tomorrow, I've got to watch this one movie and write a response to it, to kinda' make up for me missing Psych class last week (even though it was excused)...I offered to do it b/c it was something that those who opted to leave early and not have discussion last week had to do....figure it's only fair. That and I own the movie, so it's not that hard for me to accomplish. Then I have another paper for my Psych class due in two weeks which should be interesting. But, it'll be easier to write vs. my personal history paper. That's for sure. I also have to do a book report...which I have yet to find a book or the time to sit and read a book from cover to cover. I also have a "Co-Curricular" activity that I need to go to and write a report on....I don't mind having to do all this writing...some of 'em it's finding the time to do the thing I have to write about.
I'm going to talk to my Math teacher tomorrow about switching to the two quarter pace, only because I'm afraid that if I stick to the one quarter pace, I'm not going to pass and I'll be on academic probation, still, next quarter...vs. if I switch to the one quarter pace, which I'll easily pass and then take the second quarter to finish the class....I'll be off of academic probation, and be able to pick up some more classes...right now, it's just a thought...and I'm going to pass the idea by my adviser tomorrow when I see her. My problem is, when I was sick for that one week, it threw me behind and in turn it hurt me...and now I'm struggling to catch up with the rest of my class...and at this point I'm not sure it's possible.
I'm just so stressed right now....
On top of all that....I had a simplified version of "the talk" with Bug yesterday and RJ and I explained that yes we care about each other and we both love her very much, but we're not in love with each other. I explained to her the concept of a "traditional" marriage (meaning one man and one woman) and I then explained that sometimes there are men that love men in the same way, and then there are women who love other women in the same way...and that, that's okay because we're all human and we're all allowed to love whomever we want and God made us all different. She, unfortunately, already had the assumption in her mind that men are supposed to only love women and vice-versa...we've figuring she got that from either Sabbath School or friends at school...but we told her that God made each and everyone of us unique and special in our own ways. I then explained to her that I care about her father very much, but more like a brother than a husband. Which she understood. I then told her that I love women and not men, which makes me a lesbian...it doesn't mean I'm wrong or going to hell....it's just one part of me that makes me unique and special. She took it quite well. We explained to her that in time dad will have his own room and mom will have her own room....her response, "will I still get my own room?" We both told her of course. She seemed to understand and take in the difference between heterosexual and homosexual better than the sex and how babies get in mommie's tummies. Which I'm kind of glad about. We also explained to her that "Fag or Faggot," "Dyke," and "Queer" are not words we use and I explained why and I told her that if she ever hears anyone use those words at school to tell a teacher and that if the teacher does nothing to tell me or her father and we'd take care of it. I think my "coming out" to my daughter was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but all the same....it needed to be done. And I'm glad that she took it as well as she did.
....Now I'm just waiting to see what questions she has for me next....
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