Life's a Puzzle

"Hello, I'm Danni, I'm a lesbian and a transsexual."

My life's journey has not been an easy one...but who ever said it was going to be easy. If things were meant to be easy, then we wouldn't learn from them. A new page in my life, my journey, has been turned...now I just have to work through it. Often times working through a part of life's journey is like doing a 1000+ piece puzzle, you have to do it one piece at a time and usually working around the edges first helps get to the center of the puzzle. First I have to work through the outside influences, problems, and internalize them so that they are my problems not everyone else's. Right now, I'm still working on part of the outside edges...though I've managed my way through parts of the edges and some bits of the center pieces, but I still have a while until the puzzle is complete. Though not having custody of my daughter is extremelly hard, I'd be a liar if I said otherwise, but it gives me time to work through this puzzle of self-discovery. I've been able to figure out bits and pieces of who I really am, but for now it's putting those pieces together and figuring out who I am as a whole. The hardest thing today, talking to my brother, was admitting outloud, part of, who I am and putting a personalization (saying my name) with it. I need to admit who I am, and not be ashamed of it. I CAN NOT be affraid or ashamed of who I am, if I continue to be I'll just be destroying myself. I need to be accepting of myself before I can expect people to accept me for who I am. I also need to stop living the way people think, say, or expect me to...I need to stop depending on what others say and start depending on just myself. I need to get out of the, "so what do you think if..." mentality, I have my own thoughts and opinions and need to start living by them. If I continue to depend on them, I won't be setting a very good example for Bug. I want her to know that its not a bad thing to be independant and live the way you think you should, not depending on other people's thoughts and opinions.

"Above all else: To thine own self be true."