And I though my mother was crazy when I was growing up....yesterday and today's conversation with her have just blown me away. Yesterday she offered to fly Bug and I out there to move out there, but just the two of us. She had also offered to help get me established with the Community College out there to finish my base courses and then help me to get into a University. She had also mentioned that she knew about my change in my FB status and that she and my step-father were okay with it. Then today during our conversation she tells me that she loves me no matter what...and that she also accepts me for who I am...tell you what, if it weren't for the fact that I was on my cell phone and that I know how much a replacement one would cost...I'd of dropped it. Hell I almost fell to my knees when she said that. In fact I repeated to her what she said just to verify it, because I couldn't believe it for myself. After "coming out" to her at least five times and getting kicked out at one point, she finally is accepting me for me. I'm still in shock! Her and I have battled over years over different things and the center of it has always, really, been her learning to accept me. I can't remember if it was yesterday or today, but she also offered to help pay for the divorce b/t RJ and I. The problem I'm having with this whole situation if Bug and RJ's connection with each other, and I know that if we do get a divorce RJ would not move down to LA because he has made it quite clear (the several times I've asked him if we could move there) that he doesn't like LA at all. I like it up here, because of the fact that I actually get to see the change in the weather, I've managed to establish (a few) friends that won't let me push them away because they understand me....it's just a really hard decision to have to make. RJ and I have already agreed that we were going to get a divorce when we both can manage on our own (aka finish college) but by then Bug will be a teenager and I'm not sure I can handle living with him that long. I've mentioned the idea of having an open relationship (with the boundary of no one brings a date home with them)...and he still hasn't responded to it, which I don't think he will. I want to get the back bedroom set up so that it's a bedroom not a storage area, so that we can put a bed in there and one of us gets the room and the other gets the pullout couch....but he doesn't seem to enthusiastic about that either. I don't know what to do. I don't want anyone to solve this situation for me, but I wish I had someone to talk to and help work it out to figure things out. Every time I try to talk to RJ about any of it he either ignores me or changes the subject.
Any how...I've got finals next week...woohoo (non enthusiasm intended). After that I have about a week and a half off...then a few weeks later Bug has her spring break, which I have yet to figure out what I'm going to do with her...oi!
Anyhow...off to bed...this week has worn me out.
"God loves me for who and what I am, and I am important to Him."
I love me for who and what I am regardless of what others say...
No comments:
Post a Comment