Right now things are rather rough. I'm going through (basically) an emotional roller coaster...and I don't know which way is up or down. It's hard...very hard to say the least. I want to give up...but I know I shouldn't. I've got too many people that care about me...why, I don't know. All I know is that they actually care about me, and I don't think I want them to miss me. I recently wrote a "note" on my FB account that basically stated who I was "Then" (around high school) vs. who I am "Now"...in a nut shell...I outed myself. Then for some reason....I think I'm going crazy...viral messaged it to EVERYONE on my "friends list". Like I said, I don't know what was going through my mind...but I think I might be loosing my marbles...in all actuality, I want to see who my TRUE friends are vs. those who pretend to be my friend...we'll see by the end of the week. Right now I'm at I think 69 people on my "friends list"...I only messaged it to those I really know vs those I added b/c of the silly games. Any how...my med doctor now wants me to see a psychiatrist (I can't remember the guy's name) but anyhow...I hate psychiatrists!!! I'm not sure as to why, I think I had a bad experience or something...but I really don't like them, and I don't trust them. I'm having to see my med doctor once a week until they finally are able to get me in to see this guy...not sure how much "progress" we'll make with him. I hate psychiatrist!!! Which is why I'm only going into psychology. By the time I make it into my Master's program I'm hoping to have my "head screwed on straight"...and able to better control myself and my emotions...cause right now it's really hard to do both. I can handle one or the other...but both at the same time...SUCKS!!! I'd much rather having both under control (I can hear my brother's voice now "you hate not being in control) and he's DAMN right when it comes to where I'm at right now emotionally. I HATE being out of control with my emotions. But any how....It's late...meds are kicking in...finally...so I think I should maybe go to bed now...
I am LOVED!!!
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