Been doing okay today...I guess. It would figure though, the one day I don't wear my coat or bring my umbrella it freaking rained...not just a drizzle...RAINED! Needless to say, I wasn't too happy about having to walk home in it. To top all matters off this week, I found out that one of my psych classes that I thought was only once a week is in fact twice a week...so, I missed a class and now I've got double the homework to get done. Oi! I though last quarter was tough...this one I've got at least two papers to write each night! On top of my math homework that I have. I'm not sure if I'm going to survive this quarter. All I know is on Sunday, I'm probably going to be at the library all freakin' day...if I say home I won't get anything done, because there are too many distractions for me here at home. I hate to leave RJ home with Bug, especially considering he has homework too...but in comparison, I've got WAY more homework then him and a lot of it is due on either Monday or Tuesday. Obviously I'm going to work on the Monday stuff first.
I posted, a few days ago a comparison of who I was when I was younger (in High School) vs who I am now...my incubator of a mother decided to post her two cents on what I put (needless to say it was deleted within an hour). Most of what she posted was incorrect but the reason I deleted it is because of one of the last lines where she basically put that if anyone wanted the full story to call her and then she put her phone number. I'm so ticked at her...she's constantly putting me down and saying what I state isn't the truth, just to make herself look better. I have no reason and nothing to gain by lying. So, why would I put something that isn't the truth? She tried stating that had she known about the harassment and torment that I went through in High School that she'd of done something about it...like she did anything about when I was tormented in Middle School and I told her and she did nothing because I had "no proof" when I would come home with bruises on my arms from getting hit and shoved against lockers??? Why would I tell her anything about what I was going through in High School when she did nothing when I was going through similar stuff in Middle School??? I don't understand her. She claims that she treated my sister and I equally, when she constantly told me, "You're just like your father." Who she divorced when I was five and half....how the hell am I supposed to take a comment like that when she had no respect for him and constantly talked about how much of an ass he was and so on...??? Most of my life I felt unwanted....like I was some sort of mistake. She's the reason I have issues with liking myself...she constantly down talked me and made it clear when I would "mess up" on something, like she expected me to be perfect or something.
I hate myself...
I HATE her...
I don't deserve to be here....
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