Never Fails to Amaze Me...

My loving daughter never fails to amaze me...until today.

Normally she's one kid at home and another at therapy. She's never even begun to show her true colors at therapy....that is, until today. She had a (mild) rage episode while in therapy. Which her therapist says shows she's becoming comfortable with her (the therapist). She was actually glad to see a mild bit about how she really is. But it at least gave her therapist some insight on how she REALLY is at home. (I think) I handled it quite well...I held her hands against her body and reminded her to take a deep breath and calm down. I told her that she needed to calm down. It took only a few minutes (this time) for her to calm down. We got her to sit and play Uno while her therapist and I talked and watched how she did...which she stayed relatively calm for the remainder of the session, which was the calmest she had been in a few days...which was nice to see her relax. Her therapist recommended that I let her relax for the remainder of the day...which is what I've been letting her do. She's been pretty much laying on the living room floor watching movies, she attempted to play a video game...only to get mad at it. Thankfully I was in the living room at the time....if I hadn't been, I fear my Xbox remote would have gone through the tv screen. I got her to calm down and we agreed that it would be a good idea to give the game a break and maybe do something else. Other than that the only talking her and I have done is me asking if spaghetti would be ok for dinner and her glaring at me saying "No red sauce!" that and her telling me that she just wants to be left alone. She's did eat two bowls of pasta, which is what she's been begging me for all week.

Her therapist and I are tracking my daughter's mood so that when she gets re-evaluated (hopefully next month) so that we have that much more information for the evaluation. We've already charted family medical history.

It's weird me taking my daughter to therapy and me needing to go to therapy as well. I studied therapy in H.S and was given the "study test" that most college students take before they take the test to "test out of" Psych 101 when I was in my senior year of high school...only to be told that I would easily pass the test. Apparently according to my Psychology teacher, I was his only student in several years that picked up on the information as quick as I did and took the class seriously. I know "what's wrong" and "how to fix it" but when it's yourself that your having to "fix" or your own family...it's completely different. Even with the extended knowledge I have...there are times I look at my daughter and ask myself, "is this behavior because of the ADHD, Aspergers, or something else...or is it because she's just being a kid?" It's hard to step back and have an optimistic point of view. I guess that's why I have her in therapy. That and even though I know a lot of the answers, I'll admit...I don't have them all. I won't ever have all of the answers.

I love my daughter...her actions and what she says...never fails to amaze me, until today...