Unsent Letter

Dear ___

While I was growing up, learning what it meant not only to be human but to be a young woman person you were never there when I needed you. You saw the signs, but you ignored them. The signs were there that "something wasn't right", that something was going on...but the signs went ignored. You were supposed to be there to protect me, but you were always "too busy". When I begged for your attention, you turned the other way. When I acted out, I got into trouble. When I asked for your help, you said "not now". I did everything you wanted, I tried my best...but it was never good enough. When I tried harder, it still wasn't enough. As I grew older and the signs appeared, yet again, you weren't there. Again, I acted out...just for five minutes of attention. I hid in my room...alone...and cried. I cried for the childhood that I lost, the parent I never really knew, the "savior" I couldn't find...I cried, because I was alone. I should not have been alone. I should have had your shoulder to lean on. Your strength to protect me. Your love to sooth my pain. Yet I had nothing.
Then graduation came...off to explore things that I had only read about. Again...I had no one to protect me, no shoulder to lean on...no knowledge of what to do...I learn, people hurt people and they don't care. People who hurt others do it AND get away with it...because NO ONE cares. Then I meet one, one person who seems to care. We come together and become one. He cares, but he shows me (like others) he hurts...he says "sorry", like the ones before...but does he mean it? Time will tell. Only time can tell...
I am now an adult with a daughter of my own. I'm here for her, and she knows I always will be. I tell her every day that I love her. I tell her every day that I'm here for her no matter what. I tell her that no matter what, she can tell me anything. I'm her strength, her shoulder to cry on, I'm her protector...I'm here for her no matter what, unlike you were for me. I'm about to take a "leap of faith" out of my comfort zone and instead of words of inspiration, words of encouragement...I get put down questioned why I'm even trying "this late in the game"???? Well, at least I'm trying. Through my highest of ups and lowest of downs...that's all I've ever done, try. I've always tried to prove myself to you. Now, I'm proving myself to ME...if you don't like it, then just leave me be...leave my husband, my daughter and I alone. If you don't like how I'm running my life then here's how it's going to be...you don't have to like it, it's MY life now. I'm taking over it and how I do things. I'm getting things "fixed" that were "broken" because you weren't there to protect me...when I was most vulnerable. You put YOU first...

Now it's MY turn to take care of ME.



-Your Daughter Son