We all go through life knowing that the world is full of uncertainties. As children these uncertainties are greater, because we are learning about ourselves, the world, and how everything "works out". As we get older we learn and grow and these uncertainties are fewer, because we know more. Though we don't know everything...we know more.
I'm facing one of those uncertain times...I'm at a crossroad of where I'm comfortable at and where I should be heading. I don't want to go where I know I should. I'm supposed to go (hopefully I think) on this trip next week to visit a University campus so that I can get my admissions paperwork started and (maybe) be ready to start classes in either the Spring or Summer quarter...now my problem is, is that I know this is something I SHOULD to, but I'm scared. I'm not one to go out of my comfort zone THAT much. Just making the trip to visit the campus has got my nerves rattled...I haven't bought the train tickets yet for my daughter and I to make the trip out there, mostly because T and I (mostly T is) are working on the logistics of this visit...but my husband keeps asking if I've purchased the tickets, he's afraid if I put it off much longer I won't buy the ticket and I won't make the trip....maybe he's right, who knows. I won't say that I haven't done something similar in the past....I'm just...scared. I've been out of school for going on 12 years now. I'm not saying I'm stupid,, all I'm saying is what if I don't know or understand the information being taught....I'll just be setting myself up for failure. I've got hardly any support. I've tried telling my family the "good news" about me going back to school...and they didn't seem to care at all. Their response was nonchalant as if I were just telling them who the new elected president was/is. At times I think the only reason my family keeps in touch with me is because my daughter is their ONLY grand-child...there are times that all I'm looking for is a few words of encouragement, and I can't even managed to get that...let alone an "I love you" out of them. Times are uncertain...I don't know which way is up or down; left or right...all I know is I'm comfortable where I'm at...and I guess that's ok, because I know what to expect...
....nothing....
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