Ok, so today was psychotically busy...from 12noon on I was literally go, go, go....which is a good thing, because it doesn't give me time to stop and think about anything. But it's also rough because I don't have time to remember simple things...like my vitamins (whoops) and eating (which apparently is important too). But on the up side to everything is I did get a chance to talk to the other leader of my daughter's G.S troop and tell her because of me working through some personal things and having to try to get my stress level, among other things, in check that I won't be at both meetings every month...but my daughter will. I'm thankful she's SUPER understanding. I did promise I'd be as active this year as I was last with cookie sales (because what parent in their right mind is going to do it). It gives me a few months to get things squared away. One of the other moms offered to, after the parade next weekend, take my daughter for the evening/night and let her sleepover with her daughter (they're REALLY good friends) and then pick me up for church the next day...which will be cool, because I've not had a break from her in so long. She also invited us to church this coming weekend...which makes me nervous because of my panic/anxiety attacks. But I've got a few days to figure out what I'm going to do...
Then earlier today I went to the foodbank to get some stuff to help hold us over until next month...and while I'm waiting this kid (yes I'm calling him a kid), who can't be but maybe 17-18...maybe 19 years old come up to me (with his father right next to him) and ask me what school I go to and try to start flirting with me...needless to say when I told him how old he was a gust of wind could have knocked him over judging by the look on his face...I don't think him or his father expected me to say that I'm 30....but it was kind of creepy. Other than the location...the fact that some of my husband's friend have kids that are about this boy's age...eeeewwwwww....and then the dad started to "look me over" and his wife's not even 20 feet away! Really creepy. I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. The gals that work there have always kinda' picked on me because I don't look my age (I've always had people tell me that)...but never had someone try to say I look like a teenager (still).
Emotionally wise, today's been a bit better. I'm more willing to go outside and talk to people. I've been forcing myself to go and talk to at least one neighbor for 10 minutes each day...that way I don't stay hidden and locked in my apartment all day long....cause then I'm able to let my mind wonder and think and well...not always a good thing. Especially right now. So, it's just a matter of keeping myself busy and mentally occupied.
I'm more like a single mom than I am a married person with a child...
Oddly enough...I'm ok with that....
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