I'm almost at the point of not wanting to take any of these meds anymore. I know I've only been on 'em for two days...but I don't like feeling this way. My emotions are all "out of whack". I got mad at RJ and Bug (on separate instances) today...and the bad part is, I don't remember why I was upset with them. Then at one point I wanted nothing more than to cry, though I couldn't. Then while we were trying to relax as a family my mother called and the first thing out of her mouth was, "Don't you respond to your text?" and "How come you didn't call last weekend?" Apparently she didn't care about the fact that I was having trouble opening the message she sent (was a pic that wanted to open as a video) or the fact that I wasn't feeling good last weekend when I "was supposed to call them." Its like my life is supposed to freakin' rotate around what they want. I'm so sick of them. When she made the comment "Well don't I get to talk to Bug?" I flat out told her "If you were to ask." It took me telling her that she needed to ask for her to do so....as if I can just read her mind???? Really??? I'm not telepathic, Vulcan, or Betazoid...I can't read minds!!! I'm "supposed" to call them back tomorrow so that they can talk to Bug when she's not busy. I'm just not sure. I'm so sick of them, more my mother, trying to tell me what to do. It's, in part, because of her that I have some of the "issues" I have....I don't know how much longer I can continue this facade of "being okay".
....all I can do now is survive....
for how long?
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