I hate this...

I hate this. I hate how I feel. I hate how things "seem" to me. I hate not knowing if what I hear is real or not. I just wish it would all stop...wish things for me were "normal". I don't know what "normal" is anymore. I've forgotten what it's like to be "normal". I'm having to struggle to keep this mask of "everything's okay" on so that my family doesn't worry. I started meds yesterday, and I know it'll be a while before I "notice" any difference.

I'm not sure how long I'm going to be able to keep this mask on...