17 January 2012

No excuse...

I don't understand...I've limited the amount of contact I have with my family, yet when I forget to do something that I've told them I'd do; ie. call them on a certain day; I still manage to feel like crap. I know that no matter what the reasoning I'm still going to have to listen to the old woman bitch at me, "Why didn't you call when you said you would? Well, that's no excuse..." I was supposed to call them this past weekend to let them (my mom and step-dad) talk to Bug, but I wasn't (emotionally) feeling good all weekend...hell, I spent majority of the weekend curled up in bed not wanting to move. I wish I could still stay in freakin' bed and not get out of bed. This week is going to be one of those weeks that I have to force myself to get up and get (somewhat) motivated...it's only Tuesday and I had to do that to get my butt to class yesterday and to my appointment yesterday as well. All I want to do is just curl up in bed, under the covers, and not get up. I know that I can't do that, so I force myself to get up...

I'll probably call the parental units later today when Bug's home from school, before I go to my 6pm class...just so that they can't say that I'm "not allowing her to talk to them". In a sense it feels like they still (kind of) have control over my life, because she (my mom) still manages to make me feel like crap...


I hate this....

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