Crazy Day

Ok so my title is a little wacky, but it describes my day...

I had a pretty rough day today. For starters, I didn't get a lot of sleep (which lately isn't unusual)...then I went to the church that runs the Bible Study that my daughter had the issues at. Which was fine because I'm not going to hold a grudge against other people's ignorance. Then today when we got back, we (my daughter and I) went to go clean her room, put up all of her spring and summer clothes and make sure the only thing out is long sleeves and jeans (it's gotten pretty cold here)...with knowing that most of her jeans don't fit (she tried them all on)...then it came down to going through her toys and getting rid of stuff (FUN!) she decided she didn't want to help, which I was fine with because then it just goes quicker...well as I'm doing this I'm discovering toys, (yet more) clothes and other stuff shoved under her bed, so naturally I clean there too...only to discover that she's been hiding food wrappers under there as well. *sigh* frustrated, I called her in to find out why she's got all these food wrappers under there...I get the typical "I don't know" response and according to her "they're from YEARS ago..." needless to say, we've only lived in this apartment for just over a year...her bed was replaced this past spring and her and I have cleaned her room in the past month...aka my kid has no concept on passage of time. So her and I talk and I explain to her if she wants anything to eat all she has to do is ask...and I'll help her pick a healthy choice for a snack (though after talking to T I think it may be something more than the "I was hungry" excuse). So we get past that melt down and the "I hate you" and "I want to go home" (she still looks at my mom and step-dad's house as "home") and we get to going through the stuffed toys (round 3) I got her to stay calm enough to help me go through them so that we can "pick the right ones to find new homes for" out and that we don't pick ones with (weird) sentimental value to her...she grows severe emotional attachments to things and it's hard to get her to get rid of stuff...I often have to clean her room when she's not home so that things get gone through completely. Needless to say today went quite well. I think what helped was keeping her as involved as she was willing to be...

Now, as we were cleaning her room my mom texts me asking her (my daughter's) clothing sizes...I text her back the sizes and just leave it at that. My family tends to send her clothes for the holidays, which works because she's growing (finally). Then not even 10 minutes later (only reason I know is b/c of the time stamp on the text and the incoming call) she calls me (I though was rather odd, b/c I though she was still watching the football game) I answer rather pleasantly (she is my mom) and she starts with the "20 questions" on what school I'm going to visit, why am I not looking at schools closer to where I live, what are we going to do if I get accepted...and when I explain to her that if I get accepted we're going to move there (considering the school is over 4 hours away) and lil one will go back into school. The conversation just goes down hill from there with the "how are you going to afford this that and whatever else"...I don't think she accepts the fact that I'm already looking into how much a moving truck will cost and how much rent will cost....I just...wish she would treat me like I'm an adult. I'm sick of this!!! I about canceled my trip because of her and the stress she's putting me through. I came really close to canceling it...after I hung up with her, I called my husband and told him what happened and that I wasn't going on the trip...he was pretty ticked off about it. And I then called my friend, T, who's been helping me plan this trip and told him I wasn't going...he asked what was going on...needless to say I explained to him what had happened. He explained things to me that I need to quit letting my family run my life (which I know this), and if I let them run my life and cancel the trip then (basically) I'm wasting the money I spent on the tickets because they're non-refundable...he (and my husband) said that I need to take this trip for me, no one else...I'm going to look at a school that I would very much like to attend and I need to remember that this trip is for me; not my husband, not my daughter, not my family...but me. And he's right...I know he's right...it's just hard after all the years of always being told what to do. (my husband will vouch for this one) I suck at making decisions.

...especially for myself.

"Friends are the family that you choose to have." -T