Sick

Ok, so I've come to the conclusion that my body hates me. I always tend to get sick at the worst time possible. Like right now, we're trying to get everything packed up because we're moving in 5 days. I don't have the strength to help.

Listening to my Youtube play list, there's one song that really hits how I feel and it's funny because one of my ex's posted it on my FB page (I believe) a week ago. PInk's F**kin' Perfect.

"Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good'
It didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me"

There are days that I (because of the years of people telling me) feel like I'm not worth any more than the dirt on the ground. But thanks to my (true) friends, brother, husband, and daughter...I'm starting to realize that the people that had me believing that for all those years are the ones that are wrong. I may not be "perfect" in their eyes...but to those who are my TRUE friends, my brother, my husband, and daughter...I'm perfect being me. I'm loved. I'm accepted...just as I am. I'm "perfect to them, because "I'm an imperfect perfect child of God". I just pray that God helps me to see what those who care about me most see in me. To understand better who I really am. I had gotten upset about some harassing messages that I had received on FB and changed my FB page last night...but after thinking about it and realizing that if I change my page because of other people, then I would be allowing them to win. It's MY page, where I get to express myself. I can not allow other people's views or opinions dictate what I put on my FB page. I'm trying to figure out who I am as a person.

I need to be....me :)